Moody stormed into the garage, hands on hips, an irate expression on his adorable mug.

“I’m fit to be tied!”

I glanced up from the box of ornaments I’d hauled in to store away till next December, unsure whether to be alarmed or amused by my husband’s proclamation. Fit to be tied. Hmm.

“What’s wrong, baby?” I asked, pushing the box onto a shelf.

Moody pushed at his glasses and gestured toward our next door neighbor’s house. “The Berdowskis extraordinarily large inflatable hedgehogs are teetering into our yard…again. Five dogs have relieved themselves on them in the twenty minutes I’ve been out front gathering our seasonal gnomes. I’ve politely requested that they move their…their…dirty blowups, but they’re still there and somehow, they look bigger than they were this morning. You know what that is?”

“Uh…no, what?”

“It’s spite blowup and oh boy, that gets my goat!”

I pursed my lip to keep my grin in check and pulled him close, kissing his temple and earlobe. “A spite blowup, eh? Show me the hedgehogs.”

He wriggled out of my arms and tugged the sleeve of my leather jacket. “This way. You’ll be flabbergasted and utterly astounded. It’s outrageous, I tell you! Outrageous.”  

Moody stomped along the path to the side of our bungalow and gestured wildly at the two blowups invading our yard.

Now, to be fair, they were supposed to be reindeer, but their antlers were spiky…like hedgehogs. And while I was no holiday decoration expert, these creatures were flat out ugly.

Also, Moody wasn’t the sort to mind what anyone put on their lawn. These hedgehogs were the exception, and I gathered that had more to do with the fact that one of them was on its knees and the other was sort of sitting on its lap in a pose that was sort of…

I supposed there was no delicate way to say it—the hedgehog reindeer were fucking in our front yard.

I scratched my head. “Wow, they’re really going at it.”

“That’s hedgehog sex,” Moody stage-whispered. “I want to applaud their liberated stance toward public shenanigans, but they’re crushing my hibernating roses, and frankly, they’re going at it all wrong.”

I snort-laughed. “What do you mean?”

“The positions are just…anatomically incorrect. The one sitting on the other’s…”

“Penis?”

Moody nodded. “His position is off, and gosh, that looks painful. Not my problem, but I’m mad as heck the Berdowskis didn’t move these two hooligans before they left town for New Year’s tomfoolery.”

“This is definitely tomfoolery,” I agreed, hiding my smile as I swiped my hand over my stubbled jaw. “Moira and Jim are out of town, eh?”

“Yes, they’re visiting Moira’s sister in Palm Springs and—” Moody gasped and covered his mouth. “Are you thinking what I’m thinking?”

“Uh…”

“Yes, that’s brilliant! Let’s move them farther into the Berdowski’s yard. We can fix the sexy parts while we’re at it. Ooh! This is good.”

The naughty spark in Moody’s eyes was too adorkable for words. I couldn’t help it. I threw my head back and guffawed.

“I feel like this is some kind of reverse Grinch move.”

“Not at all. First of all, it’s New Year’s Day, not Christmas. Secondly, those reindeer have turned into horny hedgehogs not respectable citizens. And thricely, we’re not stealing anything…we’re just moving them and improving their intimate experience while we’re at it.” He clapped his hands decisively. “I’ll take the top hedgehog, you take the bottom.”

I tipped my Stetson and shot a lopsided smile his way. “You want me to bottom?”

Moody’s ears turned pink at the tips. “Very funny. C’mon, Hudson, let’s hurry.”

So, that was how I found myself wrangling two gigantic blowup reindeer into submission, pushing it away from our property line and solidly onto the Berdowskis side. The funniest thing was watching Moody’s painstaking attempt at improving their original position.

“I think it’s fine as is, honey. Let’s leave well enough alone,” I commented.

He observed the blowups critically, nodding. “You’re right. Thanks for joining my dastardly crusade, husband.”

I slipped my arm around Moody’s shoulders and guided him to our house. “I want in on all your crusades—even the dastardly ones.”

He beamed. “And you shall be. This was just the first of the new year.”

My face hurt from smiling. And yes, that happened a lot around Moody.

“I love you, Moody.”

“I love you too. Happy New Year, my love.”

“Happy New Year.”